Game 45: Pilotwings 64

Pilotwings 64 is a flight simulator and one of the original launch games for the Nintendo 64. The game doesn't feature any standard flight simulator vehicles such as fighter planes or a Cessna single-engine, but more unique craft like the gyrocopter and hang glider. There is a lot of interaction with the environments such as photographing landmarks and even some battle-themed stages pitting you against giant robots. The game was really overlooked when it was released even though there was only one other Nintendo 64 game available at the time, but of course, that game was none other than Super Mario 64. Let's take a look at the first hour of the other launch title, Pilotwings 64.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I choose Start Game and the first hour of Pilotwings 64 begins. I select a new file and start with the Beginner Class Hang Glider level. Couple of different characters to choose from, I select Ibis as she has a green glider.
01 - My mission is to fly through three rings and then land on the landing point. I can take a 3D look at the map, doesn't look too bad.

02 - Haha, I cleared the three rings easy enough but I dropped my legs too early and fell slowly to the ground in front of the target. Ibis screamed like a little girl.

04 - Bullseye! I land on the target square on and end up with 94/100 points. Not bad. Not bad at all. A cool thing you can do during the level is take pictures, the game isn't beautiful by today's standards but it is definitely colorful.
05 - Sweet, I've already earned my Gold Badge! Time for the beginner Rocket Belt level! I'm selecting the Goose character this time, he looks like Evel Knievel.

07 - Well that was really easy. Just had to rocket into a balloon and then land. 88/100 points, once again docked for landing impact. Lame. The rockets were really easy to control. Dang, missed out on Gold by 2 points.

08 - Cool, it's the Gyrocopter level. I pick Robin as my gyro-pilot. She gives me a sexy "oh yeah!"
10 - The gyrocopter is a cool plane-helicopter hybrid. Not as maneuverable as the rocket belt but super fast. I was going nearly 200 km/h at one point. 87/100 points for this round. And another silver.

11 - I have conquered the Beginner levels so it's on to Class A. Let's start again with the hang glider. I choose Lark, who looks suspiciously like the Nintendo mascot Nester. This level is called Ever-Frost Island. Oh cool, I have to take a picture of the flame coming from the oil plant's smoke stack. I check out the sample photo, seems easy enough.

14 - Oh crap! I took a great picture of the smoke stack but I botched my landing by not holding down the button.
15 - This time I pulled my landing off but I only received 50/100 points! They really didn't like my photo and my landing sucked. Screw them. Next level!

17 - Oh man, this level is going to be tough. You have to dive bomb off a cliff and try to go through as many rings as you can and then pull up before running into a rock wall. Ouch, I smash into it.

18 - Nice, only missed a couple of rings and then had a pretty sweet landing! Oh man, those two levels' scores only add up to 138, I need 140 for the medal! I think I'll retry the photo one to pick up some easy points.
20 - Woah! I got set on fire as I flew too close to the smoke! Awesome! They loved my photo though, 56/60 just on that, and 69/100 total (my landing blew). That's good enough for a bronze, which is good enough for me.

21 - Rocket belt time, this should be fun. I choose Kiwi, a pink clad little lady. Oh sweet, the level is called the Little States and it's a small representation of the contiguous 48 states!

24 - That was a neat level, just had to rocket through some rings and land but they were strategically placed around skyscrapers and under bridges. I pick up 75/100 points. 65 to go for a bronze.
26 - This is a tougher level, instead of flying through rings I have to momentarily land on platforms. I got near the end and then I'm pretty sure the game glitched up on me and forced me to crash. Oh, maybe I ran out of fuel...

29 - I aced that level this time, well, not perfect, but I did get 88 points! That's enough for a silver badge in Class A Rocket Belt!

30 - Class A Gyrocopter now, I select Hawk, a large black man.
33 - Now that was an awesome ride. I had to fly through about 20 rings and I never missed one! I got a complete tour of Crescent Island in the gyrocopter and then made an okay landing. 81 points! Most lost on the landing. I need to practice that I think.

34 - Oh snaps, next level I get to destroy targets!

36 - Another cool level, just had to take out three targets but the rockets are so much fun! Just hold the Z button to aim and fire. I took out one target from like half a mile away! And 97/100 points! Yes! Just two points from gold, oh well.
37 - I'm going to try an extra level called Birdman, I select Lark as my bird. Oh, interesting, this is just free flight. No challenges, just enjoy yourself!

38 - I take a few pictures and then whallop into a tree. That was relaxing, but not what I'm looking for right now! On to Class B levels!

39 - Three tests at this level, sounds like the game is getting tougher. Bring it on.
40 - Woah, first level challenges me to use the thermal currents to bring my hang glider to an altitude of 400m and then land on top of a mountain.

43 - Ugh, you have got to be kidding me, I easily reached 415 meters and then just fell short of the landing area and crashed. Lame.

45 - Oh, suck that! Perfect landing! Okay, I got no points from landing impact but who needs that. 79/100.
46 - Next level is more photographing, take pictures of a fountain and a whale.

48 - Well, I thought I did a lot better than the points I was rewarded, only 38/60 for my pictures? 58 points total?? Ugh.

49 - The next level is asking me to land on the landing point at exactly three minutes... boring. Haha!
52 - Booya, 2:55! Another crappy landing of course, but I score 88 points which should give me the bronze! Yep! I think I'm going to do Gyrocopter Class C. Basically because I want to shoot something. Ibis has been good luck for me, I'll stick with her.

53 - Oh yeah, this was the stage I was looking for! Red Alert! I need to take out the Meca Hawk, a giant robot that is attacking the city! Five missiles will bring him down.

56 - This little bastard really likes to run around. He's basically a human robot that dashes around but it's pretty easy to hit him once you get close. That was pretty cool though, too bad he didn't shoot back. Or actually destroy the city. 85/100 points for me.
57 - Next level is called River Run and has me flying through more rings.

59 - Wow, this is a sweet level, super scenic! The game has me flying underneath bridges and through canals through the rings. I tried to be a little too risky on one ring though and ended up crashing. Whoops! One more try.

60 - Wow, that was fun! I even had a perfect landing at the end and received 97/100 points! Right near the runway at the end they actually launched a space shuttle! Perfect timing to the end of the first hour of Pilotwings 64.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 0
Like many flight simulators, Pilotwings 64 doesn't offer any kind of story, but instead delivers the game in objective based missions. This works perfectly fine with me as I think any kind of story in this game would be simply obnoxious.

Graphics and Sound: 8
Pilotwings 64 is a really early Nintendo 64 game, and so it was one of Nintendo's first foray's into the world of 3D. And much like Super Mario 64, I think they really succeeded. The world is pretty polygonal but the draw distance is really deep and I would never call the game ugly. Pilotwings 64 features an extremely useful heads-up display that doesn't waste any space. Sometimes games just throw a bunch of crap up on the screen that doesn't provide anything helpful. There's a little voice acting in the game that doesn't detract but other than that it's the sound of the engines and the nice ambient music.

Gameplay: 9
This is a super solid atypical flight simulator. In my opinion, real planes and jets have their place on the PC where you can grab a joystick and have precise control, but the eclectic ensemble in Pilotwings 64 works perfectly on the console. In its first hour I used the Gyrocopter, hang glider, jet pack, and even strapped on some bird man wings. They were all distinct in their own way and very fun. Each one handled differently and presented its own form of challenge, it's great to see gameplay like this. The variety of missions was also cool: from a simple ring fly-through to taking photographs of whales to taking down a giant robot, this game has it all.

Fun Factor: 10
Great gameplay with a variety of missions and aircraft makes for an awesome first hour. I honestly had a ton of fun no matter what I was doing and the game was challenging enough to keep things exciting. I think if I was going for perfect scores I would find myself getting pretty pissed off as I'm not a very good lander, but since this is just about the first hour the fun factor gets a perfect ten.

Minutes to Action: 1

Overall: 9
Pilotwings 64 is the first flight simulator I've reviewed and its first hour sets the bar very high for the genre. The game is light-hearted, very fun, and offers a good variety of vehicles and levels. If you can get a hold of this game, give it a try. It is one of the original Nintendo 64 games so for fans of Nintendo console history, you really need to do yourself a favor and play it. Pilotwings 64's first hour is very fun.

Mario can't help stealing the show even when it's not his freaking game.

Game 32: Turok: Dinosaur Hunter

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter was the first first-person shooter on the Nintendo 64 and the start of a series that is known for its ups and downs. The game is about Turok, a Native American who is sent through time to save the world and is loosely based on a comic book series of the same name. If you think this sounds a little like Prey, and you might not be too far off in some terms (interestingly enough, these games actually started development around the same time, except Turok was released in 1997 and Prey was released in 2006...). Since Turok was released on the Nintendo 64 before Goldeneye 007, there wasn't much to compare it to except for PC shooters, so reviewers at the time absolutely loved it. I can't say I'm quite as much of a fan, however.

A few weeks ago, a new Turok game was released on the PC and newer consoles, simply called Turok. This is the first new game in the series in almost six years, but after a little reading, it appears it has nothing to do with the original games. Maybe that's a good thing, but let's take a look at the first hour of Turok's foray into video games.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select Start Game and the hour begins. Looks like the game is starting already! My first task is to locate the hub ruins and use the keys (sigh) to open level portals. Holy crap the controls are awkward right away.
01 - The controls are basically reversed from the standard Halo setup we have today. Moving is assigned to the C-Buttons (basically the N64's right joystick) and looking to the left joystick.

02 - I'm having a ton of trouble with these controls, everything is so awkward. And there's a ton of fog! I'm going to take a minute and see if I can configure things.

04 - Well, I think I have found the solution: change the controls to "left-handed." I'm not left-handed, but now I get to use the D-Pad to move and the C-Buttons to look aroun. I head up the first walkway and climb my first ladder. My first enemy is right in front of me, time to die by bow and arrow!

05 - I find the level 2 key and Turok proceeds to eat it or something. Odd animation. Oh man, five more keys to find in this level.
06 - You know what's nice (besides double jump), overlay maps. And this game actually offers one! That's awesome and something you never see anymore. I find a pistol and kill another guy with it. Who are these bad guys and why are they trying to kill me? No answer so far.

07 - There's no aiming reticule and the aiming is really jumpy, making it pretty difficult to figure out what you're shooting at. Woah! A velociraptor just charged me!

08 - One guy just started lobbing grenades at me, jerk. I kill him easily and take his one remaining explosive.

09 - Some idiot jumped me from around a corner with his shotgun. I killed him but only picked up shotgun shells! I watched his body disappear with my favorite first-person shooter weapon!
10 - So after I kill another bad guy, a mysterious blue portal appears and I jump through. Hey, a shotgun! I'm inside a cave now. Oh no, a jumping puzzle! I die right away, but the game just zaps me back to the cave opening. Not bad. Then I die on the second jump. Then the first again.

12 - The game decides to be funny and place a guy tossing grenades at me in the middle of my jumping concentration. CRAP! I FELL!

14 - For whatever reason, it is so hard to determine distance while jumping, not to mention the controls are really sensitive.
15 - Lots of nasty clipping and seeing through walls going on. Wow, I made it through. And the game dumps me off exactly where I went through the portal. All this for a shotgun?

17 - You know, if you turn on the overlay map, you get an aiming reticule represented by where Turok's body is located on the map. Unintentional I think, but helpful none the less. Wow, a checkpoint! They had those back then?

18 - While running around I'm also collecting these orange triangles, no idea what they're for. Maybe an extra life at 100? I think the game wants me to jump through the air and collect a floating rifle. Nah. A raptor goes down in two shotgun shells in front of me.

20 - Woah, then I kill another raptor and one materializes in front of me in a shaft of white light. What the heck?
21 - Oh man, another jumping puzzle. One of these jumps involves me jumping like four feet forward and four feet up, this is one crazy Native American.

23 - Dang, I fell in the water below. I can still run around down here though. No idea how to get up... Oh, there's a different wall texture that I can climb, thanks game, you're so obvious sometimes!

26 - I finally make it through this jumping sequence and reach a checkpoint. Oh man, I make it to the top of a wall (after much Turok grunting) and I encounter a giant beast neither man nor dinosaur! Thankfully though, the game gives me some Tek-Arrows, and I fire them into the monster's stomach. He goes down in three exploding bolts.
28 - After killing a man and a raptor, I see another blue portal. As I'm running towards it, the portal just ups and disappears! Argh! Then to add insult to injury a raptor materializes!

29 - Yay... more jumping. Have I mentioned that the fog is absolutely atrocious in this game?

30 - I reach a save point, but since I don't have one of those N64 Memory Card Paks I can't save my game! Oh man, this time I fell and actually lost a life. Now I only have one left. This could suck. I was resurrected at the save point though and Turok spun around in crazy ragdoll fashion as he floated back to earth. Then he shouted, "I am Turok!" Pretty funny actually.
32 - Oh my... a jumping puzzle with lava. I hate myself. I fall in but luckily Turok just loses a few health instead of dying like most crappy video game heroes would. Sometimes the platforms you need to jump on disappear from the overlay map mid-jump, making it really difficult to land them. Seriously, this game is out to get me.

34 - Ha, I just killed a raptor and he sputtered around on the ground in pain. I'm getting shot and I can't see the guy. I think he's hiding in the fog.

36 - Crap, I just fell down into the water below. And the game is deciding not to fill the overlay map out for me either down here. I'm pretty sure I'm just running in a circle looking for that magical climbing texture.
38 - Another one of those golem monsters appears. Jerk. Then I find another key. Four more to go. Double jerk. I enter a cave and some kind of leaper dinosaur attacks me, but he goes down in one shot of my pistol. I'm not even going to bother to shoot at them anymore, they only do two damage.

41 - Haha, I'm about to jump down into a layer of fog, it looks really funny and totally corny.

42 - This is honestly one of the ugliest games I have ever played. A cool thing just happened though, I shotgunned a man in his shoulder and blood started spurting out of there as he stood there and died. Sweet.
44 - I have no idea where I am or where I'm supposed to be going right now. I'm basically just in a huge open field with bad guys materializing out of the fog. Oh look, some platforms. I wonder if I'll have to jump on them?

47 - Wow, I made it to the end of this jumping puzzle kind of quickly. Turok sucks at jumping. I hate Turok. Now I'm getting attacked by a horde of giant black beetles. And they're not even killed in one pistol shot. I just ignore them.

49 - Nooo! Another cave with leapers. More enemies to ignore! I enter the first portal I discover some kind of maze of pillars. This is really messed up. Why don't overlay maps work in mazes by the way?
51 - Umm... I just found something called a Chronoscepter piece, probably important but the game isn't going to bother informing me anything else. And then I found a dead end. Hey, I'm on a roll, a Level 3 key!

53 - Well, I escape from the maze and I think I just found a new texture! That puts the count at four.

54 - These bad guys run around like the ground was recently waxed and they're wearing socks. They're slipping all over the place! That doesn't make any sense!

56 - I'm honestly getting sick of playing this game. How did I ever put up with it when I was younger? Hey, an extra life. Not very useful now.
58 - I can see a portal but I have no idea how to get to it. I think I'm stuck. WHAT THE HECK?! Another blue portal appeared and as I was about to enter it, the stupid thing disappeared! I hate my life.

60 - Time's up! I'm not even going to play the last full minute. Thanks game for screwing me over at the end!

Well, time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 0
There is no story to Turok: Dinosaur Hunter. Well, according to Wikipedia, Turok, the time-traveling warrior, must stop The Campaigner, an evil cyborg, from conquering the Lost Land and possibly the universe. They're lucky they didn't include that in the game because I would have given them negative points then.

Graphics and Sound: 4
Ugh, absolutely atrocious graphics in Turok. I know this was in 1997 on the Nintendo 64, but Mario didn't have a dense layer of fog three feet in front of him! There are literally like five textures in the whole game and they're all butt ugly. Browns and greens seem to be the palette of choice for the art team. The characters are actually okay looking. I think it's a plus when I can immediately tell the difference between a raptor and a man. The sound is pretty good though, there's a light jungle beat playing the entire time and it's in the background enough that it doesn't become obnoxious. There's tons of animal cries playing and the weapons sound moderately correct. I honestly can't fault the sound design much.

Gameplay: 3
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter has not aged well gameplay wise. The controls are completely reversed compared to what we use today and jumping puzzles in first-person shooters hopefully went out of style with the dinosaurs. I can't really fault them for the controls though because that setup feels okay on the N64 controller, but the focus on jumping is pretty inexcusable. Luckily the punishment for falling isn't that bad usually, but I still lost probably 10-15 minutes on just these jumping sequences. The actual combat gameplay is okay, the controls are pretty sensitive (even after turning them down) to make it really fun. The weapons are of standard variety, except for the bow and arrow. Interestingly enough, the game was pretty lenient in hit detection for the bad guys, you could shoot pretty far to the left or right and still kill them in one hit. One last thing, the overlay map was a Godsend, it was typically very useful and filled out as you explored helping you determine what you still need to check out.

Fun Factor: 3
Turok was sub-average fun. Comparing it to a game like Okami though where the first half hour is just text, Turok seems amazing that the game just starts right out without any introduction. Start game becomes shooting raptors within just a minute. This was pretty typical for first-person shooters of the day though. The jumping was extremely frustrating but other than that, I don't have a lot of complaints. Turok: Dinosaur Hunter just didn't do anything that made me smile, other than blood spurting out of that guy's shoulder as he struggled to stand. And that raptor struggling on the ground for his last breaths. Those were pretty cool moments.

Minutes to Action: 0

Overall: 3
This is not the Turok I remember playing over 10 years ago, but times have changed a lot since then and Turok: Dinosaur Hunter is definitely a casualty of that change. At least the game doesn't mess around and try to fabricate some insane story (well, it does but it is limited to the instruction booklet). Turok just gets down to business of killing bad men, dinosaurs, deer, and black beetles. This doesn't necessarily make for a good game though as there are way too many problems that greatly outweigh the few neat ideas the game has. Not exactly inspiring me to play the new one. Goodbye to the first hour of Turok, I do not believe we will ever visit each other ever again.

Yes, that's Turok standing on a car shooting velociraptors with a bow and arrow.

Game 21: Jet Force Gemini

Jet Force Gemini is a Nintendo 64 third-person shooter game released by Rare in 1999. Looking back, it seems like such an odd game: twins Juno and Vela fly around in a space ship and save furry creatures from the evil empire. But when I think about it more closely, Jet Force Gemini really seems like the ultimate Rare amalgamation of their other Nintendo 64 games - Goldeneye 007, Banjo-Kazooie, Perfect Dark, and Conker's Bad Fur Day specifically. That collection of animal fur and blood and guts really comes together on this cartridge.

The game also has some interesting history during development. I used to read IGN very closely and I remember the day when some new character art was released and the twins went from being bland to sexy. Now it seems like they did this just so they could give Vela boobs, but I suppose breast sells and that's their right. Anyways, now you know all of Jet Force Gemini's exciting history (there wasn't much to cover), so let's get right into the review.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I enter my name for a new game and then start the opening cutscene. We're looking at a glowing planet with an asteroid belt around it, a ship flies by. Some epic space music starts and the camera pans to give us a peek on the inside of the ship. A teenage boy and girl are running the ship, along with their dog.
01 - An alarm goes off, "Alert!" The boy throws down his coffee and runs to the console. We cut to a scene on a planet, a bunch of furry teddy bears are getting shot down by a squad of blue ants. Somehow our heroes are watching this too.

02 - A giant mothership is passing over our hero's ship. They run down the hallway, but a swarm of blue ants burst in! The girl and their dog head into tubes and land on.... treadmills? They then take off in their own personal transport ships. The boy continues to fight off the ants, and then runs into a tube himself.
03 - He lands on his own treadmill, his name is Juno, and he's ready for action. I hit A a few times and he gets teleported into his own orange ship which takes off for the planet.

04 - It's a green planet with plenty of water. Juno lands his ship on what looks like a landing pad made just for him. I take control of the blue-clad hero.

05 - I encounter Yoda, well, maybe not Yoda, but it sure looks like a dark green version of him. Yoda is a Tribal, the furry creatures on this planet, and he tells me he saw Vela and Lupus run through a moment ago, must be my sister and dog. Guess he knows who we are.
06 - Yoda tells me that green doors mean forward and red doors mean back. That's probably an indication of poor level design and that it is easy to get lost. I check out my controls, Z shoots, and the C-buttons (remember this is on the Nintendo 64) control various jumping and rolling maneuvers. R brings the camera directly behind Juno's back to aim.

07 - I proceed forward. The next area is very wide open, but the large textures are truly awful.

08 - I enter a hut and talk with a Tribal. He asks me to rescue as many of the furry creatures as I can.
10 - Another Tribal tells me I'll have to destroy all Mizar troops to proceed from stage to stage. Figures.

11 - While using the R-button to aim you use the left joystick to aim your gun and the C-buttons (aka right joystick) to shoot. This is the opposite of basically every first person shooter I've played since Halo and I'm going to have a hard time getting used to this in the next hour.

12 - Goldwood Forest - My first liberation zone. The game pans around the area, telling me what to shoot and what not to. Kinda obvious. Oh snap, Sniper Drones!

13 - Blah blah, let's get going. Kill ants, free Tribals.
14 - Finally, A hostile area! I take out my first Sniper Ant with some well placed shots.

15 - After that I rescue my first Tribal, cute little furball.

17 - Phew, just cleared my first large area. The switched joysticks are disorienting me in combat, not sure how I ever played games like this! I dig around in the options looking for a change. Hmm... nothing.

18 - Two different doors to enter, I enter the right one.

20 - It's a long tunnel with ants lined up all the way. There's really no point in aiming it seems, just run and gun. I take on a ton of ant soldiers and then rescue a few Tribals at the end of the tunnel. Only one left to rescue in this level.
22 - I manuever my way through a line of ticking land mines while dodging ant bullets. The imprecise controls are making this difficult, Juno takes wide turns.

25 - I accidentally fall down a waterfall hole then crawl underwater through a small crevice. I'm out in the open again. I wish there was some kind of map, I feel really lost. Oh, area cleared! And I rescued all the Tribals (I did?), not bad!

26 - Next area has what looks like to be a collection of exploding barrels.

27 - The music here is really upbeat, lots of drums. A Tribal gives me a Red Key, used for opening doors with Red Locks. Thanks! There's also a door behind him that I can't enter. He says its a Mizar door, why they would have a door on this planet I don't know.
29 - I have to shoot a target to proceed... How annoying! I'm wasting all my ammo. Try as I might, I can't get it open. I head through another door.

30 - Okay, there's a giant bug boss in here. Am I ready for this guy? I save my game.

31 - I'm fighting him pretty good, but then I fall in the pit. Wonky controls. I fall again trying to get some red gems.

32 - All right, he went down real easy once I bothered to try. I got a machine gun as a reward! This sucker is high power and should open that frustrating target easy.
33 - The door goes down in a flurry of bullets.

36 - I'm picking up ant heads as I run around, wonder what they do?

37 - I take out a few more snipers, cool physics as their guns bounce around after they're dead.

38 - I get taken out by one of those giant bug's laser beams. Ouch. Direct hit.

39 - I get right back on my feet (after miraculously coming back to life a few hundred feet away) and take the bugger out.

40 - The game thinks it's funny to place a sniper right above a door entrance. Lame. I'm also starting to notice how hard it is to get the camera to swing around to where you want it.

42 - Woah, I turn the corner and there's a ton of floating gunners! I take a minute to pick them off one by one, luckily they're horrible shots.
43 - I fall off an invisible cliff and die. No continues left now... gotta be careful.

44 - Sweet, I just shot an enemy grenade out of the air! But then I die again, continues gone. Lame.

46 - This time I take out the horde of gunners with my machine gun. Much faster this time.

49 - Wow, the game really likes overwhelming odds. Right now I'm fighting off a large group of much more accurate gunners. Not fun.
50 - I take out the final gunner as he kills me, at least they won't be back now.

51 - Moving on finally, I'm able to rescue a bunch of Tribals, but in the next room a swarm of green flying gunners awaits me. I grab an invincibility power-up on the ground and blast through them. Level complete. But I missed four Tribals. Whoops.

53 - I make it back to my ship, no sign of my sister of dog. I take off to the heavens.
54 - There's a long sequence as my orange ship docks in the main ship. Juno just ran through a solid wall after he got off his ship. Odd.

55 - Somehow one of the Tribals got on my ship. He starts a cutscene, looks like the ants are on MY ship? Maybe I'm not on my ship but the alien mothership? It's not clear. Vela is doing some reconnaissance. Well, until she starts blasting everyone!
56 - She takes off after some ants but then gets captured by a giant purple bug. Now I gotta rescue her I suppose. How did this Yoda know all this information anyway?

57 - I'm back in control and take off into the unknown.

58 - This is a cool indoor area, I like it better than the forest. I rescue some Tribals from the giant purple bug.
59 - I'm clearing out another room of bugs and gunners. This game could be a lot more fun if it helped you aim at the flying guys too.

60 - In my final minute I manage to rescue another Tribal and spatter some ants. Nothing too exciting.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 2
Jet Force Gemini's story in the first hour is extremely lacking. It basically entails to a pair of twins and their dog are chilling out in orbit around a planet when the furry inhabitants of that planet are suddenly attacked by some evil ants. That's it. There is no explanation why Juno and Vela were by that planet, there is no explanation on who the Tribals are and why they would get attacked, and there is no explanation on who is attacking them except that they're Mizar. Considering it takes 15 minutes to actually get rolling, you would have expected a lot more.
Graphics and Sound: 6
The characters are probably the best looking things in this game, they're relatively detailed and Juno and Vela specifically look really good. After that, everything kind of goes downhill. The 3D areas seem pretty large, but Jet Force Gemini employs some really awful looking textures all over which spoil the expansiveness. There was a decent variety of environments in the first hour; though I spent the most time in the forest, the last few minutes placed me in a large spaceship cargo deck. I actually enjoyed the music so that helps out this category's score. The sound effects were typical but the soundtrack seemed above average. But Rare has always had pretty good music in their games. Oh, one note, Jet Force Gemini runs in widescreen mode (as you can see by the screenshots in this review), this is a great method of future-proofing by Rare.
Gameplay: 4
Besides the polygonal graphics, many Nintendo 64 games suffered from crappy gameplay. My theory behind this is that the controller simply wasn't ready for both 3D movement and dynamic camera control. Throw in some simultaneous aiming and moving/strafing with only one joystick and all of a sudden you have a 10 button controller that is simply inadequate for the games developers want to make. Jet Force Gemini suffers from this and thus the player suffers too. Is it good gameplay when an experienced gamer has to constantly think about what buttons to press? No. Does it make sense that the game forces you to use an inaccurate joystick (or is it just a bad aiming system?) to pick off sniper ants that just span a few pixels? No. I could go on but the first hour of Jet Force Gemini's gameplay is simply a disappointment.
Fun Factor: 5
Gameplay and Fun Factor categories are usually directly related, if the gameplay sucks, you're probably not going to have much fun. This would be the case for Jet Force Gemini if it didn't have that unique sense of style that's a trademark of Rare games. It's so satisfying splattering the ant drones' green blood all over nearby rocks or "accidentally" shooting a Tribal here or there. The characters have a certain roguish appeal, but they're way too underdeveloped in the first hour, unfortunately. This score would be higher if it weren't for the frustrating moments where you're just getting picked off in the distance by gunner drones and your crappy aim can't hit anything. Too bad.
Minutes to Action: 14
Overall: 5
This is a disappointing score for me, Rare had such a great track record on the Nintendo 64 and doing a quick recap in my mind, Jet Force Gemini probably had the worst first hour out of all their releases on the system. I also really can't see how the game could recover from this considering so much of the fault lies on the below-average gameplay. The story may become a classic and the soundtrack might keep kicking along, but if the gameplay sucks, well, you can't really do much. Here's to the alien blood splattering run-and-gun action adventure that was not to be.

Game 7: Diddy Kong Racing

Diddy Kong Racing was Rare's answer to Mario Kart 64, which had come out earlier that year. Of course, no one had actually asked for another kart racer on the Nintendo 64, but Rare saw it as an opportunity to start the marketing machine for their future franchises, namely Banjo-Kazooie and Conker (yes, that Conker). They also packed in a bunch of other lame, no-name racers to fill the void - and thus, Diddy Kong Racing was born. The first hour of racers is typically much like the rest of the game, race, race, and race some more. So this will be very indicative on how Diddy Kong Racing (and its DS remake) fares as direct competition to Mario Kart.

Before I even start the main game, I notice a few things: it has been a few years since I've held the Nintendo 64 controller and this thing sure feels weird. It's very light and plasticky, and of course the three prong design definitely makes it one of the oddest looking around. It's also not terribly comfortable compared to more recent controllers, and even the SNES before it. Anyways, on with the first hour of Diddy Kong Racing.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I start a new game and pick my character - I choose Conker, because in retrospective, this is one of the more hilarious stories to hit gaming mascots. In this game, Conker is very friendly and a fun loving squirrel. While developing Diddy Kong Racing, Rare planned to release an N64 game named Twelve Tales: Conker 64. While in development, Rare even released a Game Boy Color game, Conker's Pocket Tales, featuring an innocent Conker. Of course, most people know the rest of the story, Conker 64 became Conker's Bad Fur Day: the violent, vulgar, scat-chucking adventure game which recently received a remake on the Xbox. So that is why I chose Conker as my racer.

01 - An opening cutscene starts after I enter my initials, a simply fly-through what is the main zone. The central object is the giant, evil looking pig head sticking out of the wall (no doubt where the final race takes place). An elephant on a magic carpet rolls up and introduces himself as the local Genie. He says he's here to help... okay Mr. Genie, I wish for more wishes and for my dead N64 game to be resurrected! No? What the genie can give me is the option to cruise around the overworld in either a kart, hovercraft, or plane. Hovercraft for me!

02 - Starting out, the first thing I notice is the framerate. The game seems to run at something like 15FPS. We're so spoiled now. I pick up a golden balloon and can enter the first area. This is similar to Mario 64 where you needed a certain number of stars to proceed to the next level.

03 - I hover into Dyno Domain and then straight into the first race, Ancient Lake. The race begins pretty quickly with all eight racers. It's pretty frantic at first, but settles down and I win handily. I am an experienced kart racer so I'm pretty good at this.

04 - The genie flies up and hands me my second balloon. I guess this is the collection item of this Rare game.

05 - I now have enough balloons to enter Fossil Canyon so I cruise on in. Besides the different vehicles, Diddy Kong Racing's hook is the items. There are different colored balloons: red for rockets, blue for boost, green for oil slicks, and a few other less useful ones. You can use the item as soon as you get it, or you can try to power up that item by getting a second or third of that color balloon. So if I get two red balloons in a row, I get a heat-seeking rocket, three in a row and I get ten regular rockets. However, if I just picked up two red balloons, and get a blue balloon, I lose my rockets and just get a normal boost. Pretty nifty system and allows for more strategy when dealing with items than Mario Kart 64.

07 - This race is in the bag, I take out Banjo in the last lap with both a regular rocket and a heat-seeker.

08 - Get my third balloon, and I putt into Jungle Falls.

09 - While racing, I have a thought about the characters in this game. They're so incredibly bland. Let's run through them quick: crocodile, monkey, badger, bear, squirrel, turtle, mouse, and tiger. At the time of DKR's release, the only racer anyone had seen before was Diddy Kong. Rare was in the bad position of trying to create a character driven racer with basically zero character recognition (not to mention the fact that Nintendo owns all rights to Diddy Kong). Compare DKR to Mario Kart, which features a whole cast of well known characters: Mario, Luigi, Princess, Toad, Bowser, Yoshi, Wario, and Donkey Kong. Nintendo had the advantage of having a whole slew of well known and popular characters to fill their game out with. I think that's important to racing games where the actual driver is so visible (another character failure: Crash Team Racing).

10 - Even though I had such deep thoughts, I still win the race.

11 - There's no more races available in this immediate area, so I head out.

12 - I hover over to the elephant genie, and request the plane. Just the fact that you can ride around on a plane in this game makes it cool (and makes multiplayer super unbalanced - but that's another story). I see a balloon floating around that can only be flown to, so I grab that. Now I have enough to race in the last race of Dyno Domain.

13 - Hot Top Volcano, my first plane course! Did you know you can do somersaults in the plane? Not very useful while racing, but great for taunting the A.I. (not that it cares...).

15 - Get my 6th balloon from the genie, why doesn't he just use his powers and give me all the balloons so I can save the island or whatever I'm doing here?

16 - Oh snaps! A big door has just opened, but I'm too scared to head in. Luckily, my willpower to go on overcomes my fear, and I come face to face with a giant triceratops! And he wants to race!

17 - This race is a spiral up a mountain. The triceratops doesn't try anything cheap, just runs up the mountain. I'm given a sparse amount of rocket and boost balloons to contend.

18 - My first lost! This was actually a tough race. Near the top, the spiral became really tight and even though the trike slowed down, my power slide wasn't tight enough and I flew off the side. Whoops!

19 - Second try is a charm - I pull past the triceratops just at the top as he's slowing down. No balloon this time though.

20 - The triceratops tells me that I have to replay all the races over again and this time, collect eight silver coins in each level. Then I have to race him again. Typical Rare collection quests. I decide to give it a try and head over to Ancient Lake again to try the silver coin challenge.

22 - I end up collecting all eight coins within the first lap, and then easily win the race. Not much of a "challenge".

23 - I leave Dyno Domain to find the next set of races, but as I leave, the genie challenges me to a race!

24 - The race is almost an exact circle around the main area. I'm actually able to keep up one continuous power slide the entire time, I almost lap the genie in a three lap race. After I win, the genie gives me a balloon. Actually, he floats a balloon in front of me, just high enough off the ground that it's impossible to get with the kart. So then I have to find the respawned genie, request the plane, and then find the balloon again as it has floated off somewhere. Thanks!

25 - I find an entrance to the next area: Snowflake Mountain. It only required two balloons so I could have come here much earlier if I had wanted. I fly into Everfrost Peak, the first race here.

27 - This was the longest race so far, but it was still mighty easy with the plane. I kept 10 rockets with me the last two laps, just in case.

28 - The next level is Walrus Cove, the only notable thing about this stage is a full loop-de-loop in a car, pretty cool.

31 - I win at the Cove but Diddy put up a fight. I receive my 10th balloon.

32 - The third snow-themed level is Snowball Valley. This is a pretty insane level, it features multiple routes, tight areas, and a wide open valley with tons of huge snowballs rolling at you. The other racers also seemed unusually aggressive. Finally I say.

33 - Okay, my first loss in a real race, fourth place too. I try again as I lean forward on my couch.

35 - Frak Diddy! He passes me just at the end!

36 - Third time's the charm. And my 11th balloon. I roll into Frosty Village with spirits high.

39 - I get passed just at the end, but I was prepared with 10 rockets and shot Diddy down. I enter the boss race against a giant walrus, I'm in the near uncontrollable hovercraft.

41 - This is a pretty tough downhill course, and the walrus is a fast boss, too bad for him but I beat the second world.

42 - Now that I'm done with Snowflake Mountain (not doing any silver coin challenges, sorry Mr. Walrus), I take a quick look around. There's a few doors I can't enter, specifically a trophy race and a door with a big old keyhole on it. At least one of those is probably unlocked after I collect all the silver coins, and supposedly there's a hidden key somewhere in one of these levels. This is a pretty deep game.

43 - I get to race the genie again, this time on my hovercraft. I'm supposed to head through a waterfall but it wasn't very obvious, so I missed it... Gotta start the race over.

46 - This time, I don't miss the turn and defeat the genie again. This is actually a pretty cool race as it takes you all around the island, almost like a tour.

47 - Sherbet Island (I had too look that one up because the voice over was totally muffled) is the third world of Diddy Kong Racing. Whale Bay is the first race.

49 - It's a pretty fun hovercraft level, and this time I was able to collect three magnets creating a giant magnet. Since I was so far ahead, I let Diddy pass me and then I used the magnet on him! I flung past him at a really high speed. Too bad it was straight into a wall, slowing me down and letting Diddy pass me for real this time. I still won though. Just keep trying Diddy, Conker will pee on you until you give up.

50 - Pirate Lagoon (argh!) is the next water level.

51 - Here's another enjoyable level, this time with a big old jump at the end. Woohoo! My 15th balloon. Time for Crescent Island.

53 - I lose... but I'll never give up!

56 - I easily win this time, almost out of time! Treasure Cove is the fourth water race.

57 - Very easy race, over quick! Time for the boss!

58 - Okay, he's a giant, scary octopus. He's also very hard as he constantly drops giant spikes in the water (I'm on the hovercraft no less) and whenever I get close he either knocks me out or somehow lands a spike on my head!

59 - I lose after three laps, and try again. This time, I fall back pretty quickly and restart. I must beat him!

60 - SUCCESS! I have defeated the third boss of Diddy Kong Racing in the last minute! Phew! I passed the octopus on the outside, and then just throttled it until the end. That was a tough race, and a worthy final battle in the first hour.

That's it for the first hour of Rare's Diddy Kong Racing, now for its ratings out of 10.

Story: 1
Hmmm... story? I'm sure there's something, because I'm stuck on an island, racing against various other unknowns, and there's a giant, evil-looking pig head staring at me. But then again, it's a racing game so I'm not expecting much, this score will not have much impact.
Graphics and Sound: 5
This category will now include ratings on sound too. I've always been a proponent of good music and sound effects in games, so it would be hypocritical of me not to rate them in some way.
For its time, it was pretty good, and it was definitely comparable (if not better) than Mario Kart 64. It didn't age all that well though and the frame rate is pretty bad. There are some neat effects though, and the frame rate really doesn't affect the gameplay that much. The music in Diddy Kong Racing is nothing too special, and the voices are relatively obnoxious.
Gameplay: 8
Diddy Kong Racing plays really well for being a kart racer. Nintendo's own Mario Kart 64 will always be the ultimate kart racer, but Rare gave their best with DKR and it showed. The multiple vehicles was a great idea as both the kart and plane handle great, too bad the hovercraft kind of sucks. The hovercraft does open up some unique ways to race differently, but the handling may be too realistic for a kart racer.
Fun Factor: 7
Diddy Kong Racing's first hour is fun. It's not outstanding, but there's a variety of interesting courses to try out, boss battles, and genie battles. The weapon system is unique, it's just too bad Rare didn't have a larger variety of characters to pull from, they're all too generic and make choosing a character incredibly boring. Racing is enjoyable, if easy (though it is the first hour, there's some bias against difficulty in most games).
Minutes to Action: 3
Overall: 6
Considering I only played single player, I think this is a pretty good score for a racer. If Mario Kart 64 had never existed, this would have been one of the premier racers on the Nintendo 64 (but if Mario Kart 64 had never existed, this game probably wouldn't have either). Diddy Kong Racing's first hour provided a unique experience, however, and is worth looking into the archives for if you enjoyed Mario Kart 64 and want to discover some of the origins of Rare's premier characters.