Game 45: Pilotwings 64

Pilotwings 64 is a flight simulator and one of the original launch games for the Nintendo 64. The game doesn't feature any standard flight simulator vehicles such as fighter planes or a Cessna single-engine, but more unique craft like the gyrocopter and hang glider. There is a lot of interaction with the environments such as photographing landmarks and even some battle-themed stages pitting you against giant robots. The game was really overlooked when it was released even though there was only one other Nintendo 64 game available at the time, but of course, that game was none other than Super Mario 64. Let's take a look at the first hour of the other launch title, Pilotwings 64.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I choose Start Game and the first hour of Pilotwings 64 begins. I select a new file and start with the Beginner Class Hang Glider level. Couple of different characters to choose from, I select Ibis as she has a green glider.
01 - My mission is to fly through three rings and then land on the landing point. I can take a 3D look at the map, doesn't look too bad.

02 - Haha, I cleared the three rings easy enough but I dropped my legs too early and fell slowly to the ground in front of the target. Ibis screamed like a little girl.

04 - Bullseye! I land on the target square on and end up with 94/100 points. Not bad. Not bad at all. A cool thing you can do during the level is take pictures, the game isn't beautiful by today's standards but it is definitely colorful.
05 - Sweet, I've already earned my Gold Badge! Time for the beginner Rocket Belt level! I'm selecting the Goose character this time, he looks like Evel Knievel.

07 - Well that was really easy. Just had to rocket into a balloon and then land. 88/100 points, once again docked for landing impact. Lame. The rockets were really easy to control. Dang, missed out on Gold by 2 points.

08 - Cool, it's the Gyrocopter level. I pick Robin as my gyro-pilot. She gives me a sexy "oh yeah!"
10 - The gyrocopter is a cool plane-helicopter hybrid. Not as maneuverable as the rocket belt but super fast. I was going nearly 200 km/h at one point. 87/100 points for this round. And another silver.

11 - I have conquered the Beginner levels so it's on to Class A. Let's start again with the hang glider. I choose Lark, who looks suspiciously like the Nintendo mascot Nester. This level is called Ever-Frost Island. Oh cool, I have to take a picture of the flame coming from the oil plant's smoke stack. I check out the sample photo, seems easy enough.

14 - Oh crap! I took a great picture of the smoke stack but I botched my landing by not holding down the button.
15 - This time I pulled my landing off but I only received 50/100 points! They really didn't like my photo and my landing sucked. Screw them. Next level!

17 - Oh man, this level is going to be tough. You have to dive bomb off a cliff and try to go through as many rings as you can and then pull up before running into a rock wall. Ouch, I smash into it.

18 - Nice, only missed a couple of rings and then had a pretty sweet landing! Oh man, those two levels' scores only add up to 138, I need 140 for the medal! I think I'll retry the photo one to pick up some easy points.
20 - Woah! I got set on fire as I flew too close to the smoke! Awesome! They loved my photo though, 56/60 just on that, and 69/100 total (my landing blew). That's good enough for a bronze, which is good enough for me.

21 - Rocket belt time, this should be fun. I choose Kiwi, a pink clad little lady. Oh sweet, the level is called the Little States and it's a small representation of the contiguous 48 states!

24 - That was a neat level, just had to rocket through some rings and land but they were strategically placed around skyscrapers and under bridges. I pick up 75/100 points. 65 to go for a bronze.
26 - This is a tougher level, instead of flying through rings I have to momentarily land on platforms. I got near the end and then I'm pretty sure the game glitched up on me and forced me to crash. Oh, maybe I ran out of fuel...

29 - I aced that level this time, well, not perfect, but I did get 88 points! That's enough for a silver badge in Class A Rocket Belt!

30 - Class A Gyrocopter now, I select Hawk, a large black man.
33 - Now that was an awesome ride. I had to fly through about 20 rings and I never missed one! I got a complete tour of Crescent Island in the gyrocopter and then made an okay landing. 81 points! Most lost on the landing. I need to practice that I think.

34 - Oh snaps, next level I get to destroy targets!

36 - Another cool level, just had to take out three targets but the rockets are so much fun! Just hold the Z button to aim and fire. I took out one target from like half a mile away! And 97/100 points! Yes! Just two points from gold, oh well.
37 - I'm going to try an extra level called Birdman, I select Lark as my bird. Oh, interesting, this is just free flight. No challenges, just enjoy yourself!

38 - I take a few pictures and then whallop into a tree. That was relaxing, but not what I'm looking for right now! On to Class B levels!

39 - Three tests at this level, sounds like the game is getting tougher. Bring it on.
40 - Woah, first level challenges me to use the thermal currents to bring my hang glider to an altitude of 400m and then land on top of a mountain.

43 - Ugh, you have got to be kidding me, I easily reached 415 meters and then just fell short of the landing area and crashed. Lame.

45 - Oh, suck that! Perfect landing! Okay, I got no points from landing impact but who needs that. 79/100.
46 - Next level is more photographing, take pictures of a fountain and a whale.

48 - Well, I thought I did a lot better than the points I was rewarded, only 38/60 for my pictures? 58 points total?? Ugh.

49 - The next level is asking me to land on the landing point at exactly three minutes... boring. Haha!
52 - Booya, 2:55! Another crappy landing of course, but I score 88 points which should give me the bronze! Yep! I think I'm going to do Gyrocopter Class C. Basically because I want to shoot something. Ibis has been good luck for me, I'll stick with her.

53 - Oh yeah, this was the stage I was looking for! Red Alert! I need to take out the Meca Hawk, a giant robot that is attacking the city! Five missiles will bring him down.

56 - This little bastard really likes to run around. He's basically a human robot that dashes around but it's pretty easy to hit him once you get close. That was pretty cool though, too bad he didn't shoot back. Or actually destroy the city. 85/100 points for me.
57 - Next level is called River Run and has me flying through more rings.

59 - Wow, this is a sweet level, super scenic! The game has me flying underneath bridges and through canals through the rings. I tried to be a little too risky on one ring though and ended up crashing. Whoops! One more try.

60 - Wow, that was fun! I even had a perfect landing at the end and received 97/100 points! Right near the runway at the end they actually launched a space shuttle! Perfect timing to the end of the first hour of Pilotwings 64.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 0
Like many flight simulators, Pilotwings 64 doesn't offer any kind of story, but instead delivers the game in objective based missions. This works perfectly fine with me as I think any kind of story in this game would be simply obnoxious.

Graphics and Sound: 8
Pilotwings 64 is a really early Nintendo 64 game, and so it was one of Nintendo's first foray's into the world of 3D. And much like Super Mario 64, I think they really succeeded. The world is pretty polygonal but the draw distance is really deep and I would never call the game ugly. Pilotwings 64 features an extremely useful heads-up display that doesn't waste any space. Sometimes games just throw a bunch of crap up on the screen that doesn't provide anything helpful. There's a little voice acting in the game that doesn't detract but other than that it's the sound of the engines and the nice ambient music.

Gameplay: 9
This is a super solid atypical flight simulator. In my opinion, real planes and jets have their place on the PC where you can grab a joystick and have precise control, but the eclectic ensemble in Pilotwings 64 works perfectly on the console. In its first hour I used the Gyrocopter, hang glider, jet pack, and even strapped on some bird man wings. They were all distinct in their own way and very fun. Each one handled differently and presented its own form of challenge, it's great to see gameplay like this. The variety of missions was also cool: from a simple ring fly-through to taking photographs of whales to taking down a giant robot, this game has it all.

Fun Factor: 10
Great gameplay with a variety of missions and aircraft makes for an awesome first hour. I honestly had a ton of fun no matter what I was doing and the game was challenging enough to keep things exciting. I think if I was going for perfect scores I would find myself getting pretty pissed off as I'm not a very good lander, but since this is just about the first hour the fun factor gets a perfect ten.

Minutes to Action: 1

Overall: 9
Pilotwings 64 is the first flight simulator I've reviewed and its first hour sets the bar very high for the genre. The game is light-hearted, very fun, and offers a good variety of vehicles and levels. If you can get a hold of this game, give it a try. It is one of the original Nintendo 64 games so for fans of Nintendo console history, you really need to do yourself a favor and play it. Pilotwings 64's first hour is very fun.

Mario can't help stealing the show even when it's not his freaking game.

Game 38: BioShock

BioShock was widely heralded as the 2007 game of the year. I always pay close attention to games labeled as such because they're generally important to video game history and have great influence on the industry. BioShock seems like it will be no exception. It's a first-person shooter for the PC and Xbox 360 and is set on the dystopian underwater city called Rapture. Our hero unwittingly arrives there and must uncover Rapture's dark secrets while staying alive. Rapture was built by Andrew Ryan, an Objectivist who attempts to fulfill his dream society under the sea. Things obviously don't go smoothly.

BioShock has sold millions, won a ton of awards, and probably has a ton of sequels on the way. But how does the first hour of it fare? Let's dive into BioShock and experience Rapture.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I start a New Game and the first thing to do is set the game's brightness level. BioShock wants to be very dark but I compromise with it and find an appropriate level. Loading... 1960 in the Mid-Atlantic. We're on an airplane, a man is talking about his life and looking at some pictures in front of him and smokes a cigarette. Suddenly there are screams and the plane goes down! The BioShock logo appears, dripping with water.
01 - I'm in the water, drowning. Parts of the plane are whizzing past me at intense speeds. Fire laces the top of the water. Awesome looking water and flame effects. I have control now and have to make my way through the wreckage.

02 - I swim by the plane slowly sinking into the water and make my way towards a lighthouse sticking out of the ocean. It is the only way to go.

03 - I enter and the doors shut behind me, it's completely dark. Suddenly the lights come on illuminating a sign, "No Gods or Kings. Only Man."

04 - I make my way down the stairs and into a bathysphere waiting for me. I pull the lever and descend. Suddenly a sixties-esque video starts playing. It's Andrew Ryan! Who?
05 - Andrew begins the video by defending the common man against the state and church. The video cuts away and we get a beautiful look at Rapture, his underwater city. It truly looks awesome. Science holds no morals here. His words, not mine.

06 - There's whales and squids swimming through the underwater skyscrapers. Neon signs flicker all over. The art design is incredible. The designers have perfectly captured this era that I can not properly put into words. The bathysphere docks and we go to the loading screen.

07 - A couple of men are talking over the radio. There's a man outside my vessel's window. Two actually, and I watch in horror as one guts the other in a bloody mess. The guy has claws for hands. He jumps on my vessel and starts ripping at it! Sparks and screeching, a frightening earful.

08 - The man runs away, phew. I pick up a radio and a man named Atlas starts talking to me as I leave the bathysphere.
09 - I'm looking out the windows now, a great sight. There's moaning and heavy breathing all around, scary atmosphere. A sign that says "Ryan doesn't own us." A "splicer" appears in front of me but then a flying robot chases him off.

10 - I pick up a wrench and knock away some rubble. As I start climbing a staircase someone throws a flaming couch down to me. I attempt to jump over it!

11 - At the top of the stairs is a deranged looking man, we duel with wrenches and I win with two devastating blows to the noggin. I search his body and take a first aid kit.

12 - I'm able to beat down on the surroundings with my wrench, it's quite powerful. In something that looks like a vending machine I find a large needle with a red substance in it. For some insane reason I put it into my forearm!? Why would I do that? My hands start glowing and I collapse over the balcony.
13 - I'm out cold and some splicers appear over me. They mention that it looks like my cherry has been popped.

14 - The splicers run off in fear as a giant walks up, and then a little girl. The girl has a large needle, but she sees that I'm still breathing and they walk away. What a truly frightening sequence of events. I stand up and my left hand has sparks running through it, I can now throw electricity!

15 - Wow! I throw lightning at a door panel to override the controls, as I step into the tunnel, part of the plane crashes through! I have to crawl through part of the fuselage to continue, all the while it seems like the entire tunnel could collapse from the water pressure. What an awesome scene.

17 - In the shadows I can see a splicer run by, on the radio Atlas tells me to give him the one-two punch, lightning and then wrench. I miss with the electricity a few times but eventually get my point across.18 - I have two bars on my screen, one for health, the other for plasmid power. When my plasmid power runs out I inject myself again. Man, I do not think I could handle this needle-driven world.

19 - An elevator in front of me collapses in a flaming mess and a man on fire runs out. I put him out of his misery. Poor chap. I take the other elevator up. Atlas starts telling me about his family and how he's cut off from them. He asks for my help. I don't think I have a choice but to help. I have to head to Neptune's bounty.

20 - I hear a woman's voice softly singing and in the shadows can see her over a baby carriage. Someone sane?

21 - Nope, she's singing to a six-shooter. I knock her out with my wrench and upgrade to the pistol.
22 - I head down to the remnants of a 1959 New Year's Eve party. There's hats strewn about along with liquor. A woman starts shooting at me, it takes four wrench whacks to knock her out. I also pick up a recording of some sort, I listen to it.

23 - A woman named Diane McClintock is talking about how she was stood up by her date on New Year's Eve. It seems pointless, but it adds to the atmosphere.

24 - At the end of the recording there's screaming as something bad happens. This may have been the beginning of the end for Rapture.

25 - I walk out of a kitchen to find a few splicers walking in a pool of water. Atlas tells me to zap them, they go down quickly to the powerful electricity.
26 - I walk into the woman's bathroom (complete with Fallout-esque drawings for women and men signs) and I see the ghost of a woman muttering at the sink. She says she's too spliced up. Creepy.

27 - In the men's room one of the stalls is blown away, leading to the next area. Down below I can see an interesting sight... a little girl is stabbing a dead body with a giant needle, over and over again.

28 - Atlas explains it's a little sister, a transformed girl, and not for the better. They carry Adam, the thing everyone wants.

29 - Suddenly a splicer shows up and starts to attack her. Out of no where comes the Big Daddy! The giant hulking monster slams the slicer into the wall incredibly violently. The Big Daddies protect the Little Sisters. I do not plan to mess with those guys.
30 - The cool thing is everything in the environment can be searched. I've found cake, alcohol, cigarettes, needles, power bars, you name it, it's here. I love the interactivity.

31 - It's very satisfying frying splicers in the water. Woah, a dead Big Daddy. Can they be killed?

32 - Suddenly the gates close around me and the alarm sounds! What's going on? Someone has just tried to flamethrower me!

34 - Running from the alarm I head towards the Medical Pavilion. I'm locked in a room now. Andrew Ryan is talking directly to me. He asks if the CIA or KGB sent me? Did they?
35 - Splicers start banging at the window, oh crap, there's a lot of them. Atlas tells me to run, and I do. Loading.

36 - Next objective is to find the emergency access, I'm officially in the Medical Pavilion. Hey, a vending machine, with a creepy clown as a mascot. And it's selling needles and vodka. What is this, Moscow?

37 - I pick up another message, again from Diane. She's talking about how her splicing hasn't gone too well. Sounds like she's had a lot of medical work done.

39 - A security bot is blocking a door, I have the option to hack it... cool. It's basically a game of Pipe Dream, easy enough.
40 - Wow, the hacked security bot is now on my team, not bad.

41 - Another spoken message, from a man named Steinman. He's a surgeon here, seems to be doing some nasty stuff to his patients. "Change your look, change your race, change your sex. It's your's to change." Crazy, but I suppose he has a point though, huh?

42 - I've found the emergency access, but it's locked down. There's a security panel though, so I activate that. Atlas tells me if I want to use the access I'll need Steinman's key. Gotta find the good doctor.

44 - I hit the emergency button and it's like the Gates of Hell have opened up. Splicers run into the Medical Pavilion in packs, time for a battle. But I have a trusty machine gun with me now.
46 - Wow, a little intense. I even accidentally electrify my robot friend and it's out of commission for a moment. A lot of the splicers are dressed as surgeons. Not a good sign.

47 - I check my map, the Medical Pavilion is HUGE! This is not one hour's worth of work here.

48 - Another verbal diary from Steinman. As he's talking I come across a turret which I zap and now I can hack.

50 - A diary from Andrew Ryan, ranting about his views and values on health care.
51 - Speaking of health care, I come across a health station I can hack... interesting. I hack it successfully and now the station will hurt bad guys if they try to heal on it, awesome.

53 - I hack another turret and watch it mow down some splicers. I take that back, I watch it horrendously miss some splicers. How can machines be such horrible shots?

54 - Two vending machines, one of them for ammo. I can hack them both and reduce their prices. Interesting concept. Why not just make them free?

55 - My little flying robot friend is really in trouble, he hasn't hit much but at least he's taking shots for me.
56 - Ooh, a security camera. I zap it and start the hack.

58 - Nifty little sequence here, I'm inside the Eternal Flame, Rapture's crematorium. There's a body next to the furnace, I hit the button to incinerate it, the body goes in, and out comes something called Hacker's Delight. A physical tonic, it will help me hack better.

60 - I run across a grenade tossing surgeon. Atlas informs me that I'll need to find the telekinesis power so that I can grab the grenades mid-flight and blow up some rubble. Wow, that sounds pretty awesome. Too bad BioShock's first hour is up.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 9
BioShock's story isn't shown to you in cutscene after cutscene, but delivered to you while playing, sometimes while in the middle of battle! Andrew Ryan is introduced quickly as both Rapture's great mastermind and possibly the key to its downfall. Almost definitely the man we'll be taking on at the very end, but within the first hour just heard over the loudspeaker. Citizen's stories are also told through voice diaries you find along the way and it is up to you to piece things together. And finally the mystery man, Atlas, who you only meet over the walkie talkies. It's definitely very atmospheric to feel like you don't have any real allies, but I feel like the game's first hour was missing something. I can't place my finger on it, but maybe it was the lack of background on me, the main character. Even seemingly obscure characters like Doctor Steinman have more information on them. All I know is that maybe I was sent by the CIA or KGB. Not a big deal though, as I expect things will be fleshed out later on.

One incredibly odd thing: why does our hero immediately inject himself when finding a needle on the ground?

Graphics and Sound: 10
Beautiful. Stunning. Incredible. Plenty of words describe the first hour of BioShock in terms of graphics and sound. The game's presentation is the new high level mark for video games, whether they're on the console or the PC. There are many different points to praise but I'll just focus on three: the water effects, the game's atmosphere, and the voice acting. Firstly, Rapture is completely underwater at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean. This means there is a ton of water. I don't know how they did it but 2K Games had me thinking I was going to get soaked at every turn. From the innocent drip to water rushing in at me during amazing scripted sequences, it was perfect all around.

Water in such quantities, deep under the ocean, is incredibly intimidating. The world of Rapture is dark, foreboding, and crawling with some of the creepiest humans ever in video games. I was scared while playing BioShock because of the unknown. Lights flicker out, screams can be heard in the distant, and simply never know what will be revealed next. Speaking of screams, the voice acting was stellar. There wasn't a lot, and you never saw the speaker face to face, but the writing and direction drove the story as much as anything else.

Gameplay: 10
BioShock's gameplay is nearly flawless. It controls great: use your weapon with the right trigger and throw lightning with the left. This immediately opens up so many gameplay options later on and even in the first hour you can use Atlas' handy "one-two punch." Shooting lightning at splicers standing in pools of water is so obviously simple but I have never seen it done before! It just works so well with this game. And like I talked about in the Graphics and Sound section, the game's atmosphere is marvelous. BioShock's first hour is dark and scary, and the level design is top notch. The game introduces its core mechanics gradually while never pretending it is going easy on you. Hordes of enemies, turrets, and flying robots you can hack are all present in the first hour, and ready to kill you.

Fun Factor: 9
Well, maybe BioShock's atmosphere was a little too intense! I don't do too well with scary games, and BioShock was no exception. Some parts were very slow going because I was frightened to see what was around the corner! As opposed to some people, I don't see this as pure enjoyment, but the deep gameplay and involving storyline kept me enthralled either way. One of the best parts was how deeply interactive the environments were. You could take your wrench and pretty much destroy everything in the vicinity! Bottles and boxes are crushed under its weight. Or you can pick up bottles of alcohol, smoke some cigarettes, or eat a power bar. All have varying effects on your health and plasmid powers, and it's fun to experiment. The game's political viewpoints were also very interesting, Andrew Ryan may be a bad guy, but he does have some good ideas.

Minutes to Action: 1

Overall: 9
Not too many flaws in BioShock's first hour, as this is one of the greatest hours of gameplay I have ever played. Rapture is a truly wonderful and frightening place, and BioShock is the ultimate medium to deliver its story. The game has me craving more and more of it, but at the same time has me timid at the prospects of continuing on. How many more horrors does BioShock have waiting for me? Will I encounter a Big Daddy head on? Is this game the pinnacle of first hours? I think it falls slightly short in my mind, but that shouldn't diminish BioShock as a whole. Go play it.

Game 25: Mass Effect

Mass Effect is an action role-playing game for the Xbox 360. It was recently released in November and has received many great reviews and accolades since then. Of course, this doesn't always mean I will like it, but I have high hopes for it as it comes from a distinguished line of video games (notably Knights of the Old Republic and Jade Empire). Mass Effect takes place in the future after humans find out they're not alone in the universe and end up joining in a peaceful truce with many other powerful alien races. The human race has to deal with brand new styles of diplomacy and communication, but have also benefited from an influx of advanced technology. The concept of mass effect itself is similar to "the force" from Star Wars, but more grounded in technology and physics. It basically allows control over dark energy that species can take advantage of through the use of biotic implants and training.

For my review on the whole game, please see my Mass Effect review at Beyond the First Hour.

I'm starting 2008 (and Day 2 of reviews) where I left off with 2007: a new Xbox 360 game. And I'm actually really excited to be able to play Mass Effect finally (I've been borrowing a friend's 360 for about a month now, and have wanted to play this game more than any other, I even read the prequel book). Let's just hope my self-built hype for this game doesn't implode on itself, but from everything I've heard, I don't think it will. I'd like to quickly apologize for the choice of screenshots, they don't really fit the text but they are neat to look at! Now let's get started with Day 2 of The First Hour and my review of Mass Effect.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I click Start New Career and the first hour of Mass Effect begins. I enter the Alliance Military Personnel Database. The database looks for me, Greg Shepard (Shepard is the last name the game gives me, so all the voice actors can actually say my name), but can't find me. Looks like I get to create my own character!

01 - Lots of options available, but I don't want to spend too much time on this. Character creation doesn't seem as deep as it was advertised, but there are still lots of options to tweak and the human head in front of me looks really lifelike.. Not as many hairstyles as I'd like though.
02 - I get to decide what Greg's childhood and military career were like before the game. I'm a Sole Survivor from Earth and a Soldier. Just the defaults really, a few cool things you can do is modify your history, like where you were born (on Earth or in space) and how you became famous (all my fellow soldiers were killed in an attack).

03 - The game starts loading... A view of Earth. Some men are talking about me, Greg Shepard. They seem to know my history. There I am looking out a spaceship's viewport.

04 - The men say I'm the only man left to protect the galaxy. Some text appear on the screen, detailing the discovery of a super technology that thrust humans to the technology state they are in now.

05 - A few shots of a ship flying by, Greg Shepard is walking through the ship. A man voiced by Seth Green is noting some technical details. Greg stops, he looks rugged and experienced. The ship is approaching a really large space object, a mass relay it's called. The mass relay sends our ship at faster than light speeds across the galaxy to another mass relay.
06 - Joker, Seth Green, reports our arrival. An alien behind him says "good job" and Joker complains. Shepard walks up behind them. I get to respond to Joker's complaints. I tell him to "cut the chatter!"

07 - Captain Anderson comes on the comm and asks for me. I now have control of Shepard and start walking around the ship.

08 - I approach Navigator Pressly, he says there's something odd about this mission. Something about Spectres, top covert agents, being on board that makes things fishy.

09 - The dialogue options are really nicely laid out, I get a few short choices (one to three words) and Shepard expands on that option. Really cool design. The characters look so real too and I can even see some emotion in their faces.

10 - I ask Pressly a few more questions, he seems biased against this Spectre who is a Turian (an alien race). Next up I approach Jenkins the soldier and Chakwas the doctor. They argue a bit, Jenkins really wants a battle, but the doctor is sick of healing him!
11 - Everything I say is kind of mean, this is fun. I tell Jenkins not to play the hero. After our conversation I get +2 Renegade points. Sweet.

12 - In the captain's quarters is Nihlus, the Turian Spectre. He asks me about Eden Prime, the world where our mission is to take place. I tell him I'm a marine, not a tourist. Shepard's got some wit.

13 - Captain Anderson approaches, he has the voice of the Arbiter from Halo 2 and 3. Very deep and military like, his voice matches his character very well. Anderson was the main character from the book so I'm pretty familiar with him.

14 - Anderson and Nihlus explain the mission: a Prothean beacon has been found on Eden Prime. The Protheans are some long extinct but super advanced race so finding their artifacts is a very good thing. Nihlus is also around to evaluate me to become a Spectre. Must be a pretty elite squad as there isn't a single human Spectre.

15 - Eden Prime will be our first of several missions together. Joker interrupts, a message from Eden Prime. We get a jerky handheld camera view of an ongoing battle.16 - Looks like someone beat us to the planet, the three of us watch some soldiers get shot and a giant spider like ship floats in the air. Then the transmission goes dead.

17 - We arrive at the planet, Shepard and his team are going in. We need to find the beacon, top priority. Nihlus is going in solo. Not sure how he'll monitor Shepard if he's not with me.

18 - I have control now on the planet, time to check things out. This all feels a lot like Gears of War: behind the shoulder camera, holding L aims, R shoots. I'm liking this setup.

19 - We turn a corner and that fool of a soldier Jenkins gets shot. Well, he sure didn't last long, shouldn't have worn his red shirt today.

20 - My first battle! It felt really awkward shooting these little flying drones with my pistol, didn't feel like I was hitting them at all, but I must have because they soon blew up. Even my remaining partner, Kaidan, hit one.
21 - Kaidan asks what to do with Jenkins' body, I say to forget about him. More renegade points!

22 - More shooting, and more similarities to Gears of War: you can cover behind objects by pushing in the left stick. The game is being super lenient with the shooting, not sure if this is just because it's the first mission or what, but I'm pretty sure I'm not even close to hitting the enemies.

23 - I take a moment and hit start and check out the Squad Screen. Here I can assign talent points to various attributes such as pistol skill, assault rifle skill, and even intimidation. I spread my points out, not trying to focus on one thing. I can also give points to Kaidan. He's got totally different options though, he can Throw (mass effect throw, like the force), and has a specialty in first aid. That should come in handy.

25 - A cutscene begins of a woman in pink running away from some drones and then shooting them down. Woah, a man just got speared by something from the ground. And now I have to shoot Geth Troopers! I take them down easily with my enhanced pistol skill.
26 - Ashley Williams, the woman in pink armor approaches me. She was patrolling when the planet was attacked. She says they're fighting Geth, but no one can believe that it could actually be them. I tell Ashley to come with us, could always use a helping hand.

27 - Holding L2 gives me a quick look at the weapons we have equipped and what ones I can choose. Everyone seems to have a pistol, assault rifle, sniper rifle, and shotgun, but we're all not necessarily trained in them.

28 - The game quickly shows me how to use cover and then throws more enemies at me.

29 - My super soldier mows them down and we approach the dig site where the beacon should be, no dice though. Looks like we have to continue on looking. The actual control of this game plays a lot like Knights of the Old Republic but the shooting feels like Gears of War. It's a really weird combination but it seems to be working.

30 - Nihlus comes on the comm and tells me to head to the space port up ahead. Not really sure where to go so I guess I'll go straight. There is a radar map but it doesn't seem too informative. Just points north.
31 - We approach a burned out camp, and some spikes are poking out of the ground, but with bodies speared at the top. Ouch. The spears retract and the (used to be humans?) zombies come to life and approach. These guys can take a lot more hits so I whip my shotgun out and blow out their innards (not actually graphic though).

33 - I just realized I leveled up, so I spend some more available talent points on my heroes. Plus I can put points into Ashley as she's a new team member. Cool. I put more points for her into Assault Rifle.

35 - I open some crates and find supplies, and then approach a security door. I have to play a quick game of Simon Says to open it. That was easy enough. There's some scientists inside, looks like they were hiding out. We ask them what happened to the beacon, Nihlus was right, they moved it to the space port. One of the scientists think that the beacon could be the greatest discovery ever, the other thinks it is the fall of mankind.

36 - I leave them in their boxcar and then a cutscene starts. It's Nihlus, he's found another Turian, Saren. Nihlus asks Saren what he's doing there, but then Saren shoots Nihlus in the back of his head! Guess there won't be any more Spectre evaluating.
38 - As we approach the space port, we see the giant spider space ship flying off into the sky. Maybe that's Saren leaving?

39 - Not too much time to wonder though as we get into another firefight. Well, it's actually us shooting at the Geth and them running at us like suicide bombers. They don't seem to be doing any damage though.

40 - Haha, I shoot at an exploding crate and Kaidan dies. Whoops. He gets back up a moment later though. We approach Nihlus' body. A man appears from behind some more crates and says he saw another Turian shoot Nihlus. He said Saren shot him right in the back of the noggin and then headed towards another platform.
42 - I push the guy a little further asking how he wasn't killed, turns out he was napping on the job and when the Geth attacked he was sleeping behind the crates. The three of us rip on the guy pretty badly. We leave the guy and head for the other platform too.

43 - Dang, Shepard is a really good shot with the pistol! I also take out a thug by blowing up the barrel he was standing next to. Loser.

44 - We're supposed to head down a narrow passage now, but there's tons of bad guys. This may take a few minutes. A Geth Destroyer shoots what looks like a rocket at us!

46 - My team ends up making pretty quick work of them. We reach the end of a platform, hop on a mini train and a cutscene begins. It's Saren, he says to set the charges. He approaches the beacon and he's suddenly lifted up off the ground. No explanation there but it looks like he's received some kind of power.
47 - Woah, I have four minutes to dismantle four bombs. I head to the first one and shut it down. Three more to plus there's bad guys shooting at us.

48 - I press Y to heal my squad and then dismantle the second bomb.

49 - I overheat my gun by shooting too much, it doesn't seem that I have limited ammo though, just can't fire too many bullets in a small length of time. Another bomb down too.

50 - Shepard disarms the fourth and final bomb. We're safe in that respect at least.

51 - I'm able to press right on the D-Pad to tell my squad to attack the guy I'm attacking. Pretty nice tactics there.

52 - I take out the last of the Geth and level up, I also receive a 360 achievement. I head to the talent screen to assign a few more points to weapons and training. Well, actually I'll max out my intimidation skill!
53 - I walk up the beacon, looks like I beat the mission. Shepard reports in to Normandy (the ship) that we found the beacon. Williams approaches the beacon and she starts getting sucked into it! Shepard runs up and throws her away from it.

54 - But now he's getting lifted up! I see a bunch of bloody red flashes of something on my screen, and then I must have passed out.

55 - A cutscene with Saren and The Matriarch (no idea). She tells Saren that one of the humans (me) touched the beacon. Saren gets ticked off and throws a tantrum. Loading.

56 - Shepard wakes up in the infirmary, Ashley calls for the doctor. The doc tells me I was out for 15 hours. Ashley blames herself for the incident, I tell not to worry. She smiles... I think she likes me.
57 - The doc says she detected some abnormal brain activity and I tell her about the red vision I had.

58 - Captain Anderson approaches and I ask why Ashley is on board, he says she's been reassigned to the Normandy.

59 - Anderson says the Council wants answers, things are not looking good. He tells me that Saren is also a Spectre, but that he's gone rogue. He has allied himself with the Geth.

60 - We talk a bit more about my vision and Saren. This guy is obviously a bad dude as he doesn't like humans and seems to have the firepower and willingness to knock us out, and maybe all the other species to boot! I like games that introduce the main bad guy early on! Well, that's it for Mass Effect's first hour.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 9
Mass Effect has a huge story to tell, and the amount you want to take in is really up to you. During my review I didn't dive too deep into conversations and just skimmed any Codex entries I received. This allowed me to progress the main story and experience more action, but I started another new game and barely got off the Normandy in the first hour because I was reading so much information. The game also has a prequel novel available written by the game's writer, so there's plenty of history and backstory. However, looking purely at the first hour I experienced, the game still manages to pack a lot of cool development in. We get to meet an alien race, explore an advanced spaceship, and get to see a trusted super agent knocked off by the game's villain. There's drama and action, just what its genre of action role-playing game promises.
Graphics and Sound: 10
Mass Effect is running the Unreal Engine 3, so you know it's going to look great. The characters look awesome, more realistic than Gears of War (same engine) if you ask me. There's some funny looking texture draw-in that can draw your eye away from the real scene, but it's not too bad. Honestly, this game is like a movie, the default graphical settings have a white noise effect on and motion blur that gives Mass Effect that unique and realistic look. Sound wise the voice acting is outstanding. Shepard's voice sounds really good (both male and female versions, male in this review) and the other cast members are recognizable and even fit the part. The presentation in this game is outstanding and the best I've experienced on the 360 yet next to Call of Duty 4.
Gameplay: 8
Running around and interacting with objects in Mass Effect feels a lot like Knights of the Old Republic. This is both good and bad. The good is that the system is familiar and it works pretty well, the bad is that it feels a little last gen. I still feel like I don't have 100% total control when moving around. The action feels a lot like Gears of War. This is also both good and bad. The good is that this system is also familiar and it works pretty well, the bad is that it's hard to live up to a system like Gears of War, things just don't feel as fine tuned and a little sloppy. When I'm shooting at things it doesn't really feel like I'm hitting them, there's a health bar at top and that's really the only indication that I'm doing any damage. Assigning weapons to my squad is very easy though and they seem rather intelligent. The dialogue system is brilliant and works a lot better than the past games.
Fun Factor: 8
I was pumped to play Mass Effect and while I enjoyed it, I was surprised by a few things. I was super surprised by how the action played out, and was pleased with it at first. The shooting engine started showing its flaws along the way but my soldier was so strong I had no problem mowing down enemies. I think I had the most fun during the conversations, examining the character's faces and their reactions to what I said was really interesting. You can tell Bioware spent a lot of time on all the small muscles in the face. The story was also fun to follow but it took a while to get to the action, even longer if you want to read everything (but then maybe you don't really care about shooting things).
Minutes to Action: 20
Overall: 9
Mass Effect really does a lot of things right in its first hour: the graphics are amazing, the voice acting is outstanding, and the story is engaging. I have a warning though: if you are expecting an RPG with guns, you will probably be disappointed. The game is very action orientated, a lot more than I thought. Jade Empire also had a lot of action but that was martial arts, actually shooting something takes a lot more thumbstick skill so be prepared. Either way, I'm really excited to play the rest of this game. The minutes to action score (20) is probably the worst I will ever give to a game I scored a 9, but keep in mind that's just when the shooting starts. There's plenty of interesting cutscenes and dialogue trees to work through before then. When I reviewed Star Control 2 I made a conjecture that the classic game may have inspired Bioware to create Mass Effect and I look forward to seeing if that's true.

Game 22: Psychonauts

Psychonauts is a multiplatform adventure game from the creative mind of Tim Schafer, creator of some of my favorite games: Monkey Island, Full Throttle, and Grim Fandango. Up until recently, I had never played Psychonauts, call me cheap or call me foolish, but it's the sad truth. Times have changed though and Psychonauts is now a free game at Gametap through the end of the year! That did it for me and now I've been suckered into downloading Gametap and Psychonauts to my PC for the low price of free. Not a bad deal.

A little more on Psychonauts, it was released in 2005 to relatively lackluster sales but has since gathered a seemingly rabid fanbase. It has also been released on pretty much every digital distribution method including Steam, Xbox Live, and of course, Gametap. There aren't a lot of developers out there who are brave (or stupid) enough to make a "funny game," but Tim Schafer has the quality resume, so let's see if the first hour of Psychonauts lives up to his predecessors.

For my shorter review on the whole game, please see my Psychonauts review at Beyond the First Hour.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I boot up the game for the first time, and it seems to sense I'm a Psychonauts first-time player and sends me right into the game. Now that just isn't right when I'm timing this game to the minute, so I spend a few minutes and finally make it back to what I think is the main menu (by the way, I have absolutely no problem with a game doing this, actually I think it's a good idea, but it was five minutes until I could reach the menu or even mess with the options). I'm running on top of a brain! I select new game and a cutscene starts with a tough sounding guy explaining the brain. The brain is the ultimate weapon! The first hour of Psychonauts has begun.

01 - It is the Psychic Age, and I am a Psychic Soldier. This scene is like one of those war briefings where an old yellowed projector is showing the brain with the commander yelling in front of it.
02 - He tells us that those who do not become Psychonauts will die! All the little kids start crying, including a kid with a tin foil hat on! Okay, no one is really going to die. The game looks pretty good, has that cool Grim Fandango-like art style.

03 - All of a sudden whom I assume is the main character falls from the ceiling crashing the party. The instructors try to psychically attack the boy, but they fail. His name is Razputin, or Raz for short.

04 - Raz apologizes for being late and is lightly reprimanded. The voice acting is also excellent. Great emotion and the voices fit the characters well.
05 - Well, maybe Raz's voice seems a little old for how young he looks, but it's still great. Raz explains to the group why he should be allowed to stick around the Psychonauts training camp.

06 - Raz can't have any paranormal training until he gets his parent's consent. He is very passionate about training to become a Psychonaut. Dogen explains that he wears his tin foil hat because he once made someone's head explode.

07 - The three instructors argue over Raz's mind, they all seem to have a plan for it. Loading.

08 - Time to create a profile... I leave his name as Raz. The profile creation screen all takes place in the kids' bunk. Class is at six tomorrow morning!

09 - An eye exam, probably the start of my training as a player. Some old guy explains PSI Challenge Markers and PSI Cards. Collection stuff I guess.
10 - Ah, they're actually for learning new psychic powers.

11 - Loading again. Raz walks out of his cabin and some kids yell not to miss Basic Braining! That's good stuff.

12 - I finally have control over Raz. WASD move him around while the mouse is used for controlling the camera. Since this game is also available for the Xbox and PS2, I can also use the PS2 controller I have plugged into my computer, but I'll stick with keyboard/mouse controls unless the platforming gets obnoxious.
13 - Tons of stuff to see in the area and collect. I find a purple arrowhead when digging up a plant. Talking to kids is as easy as pressing F, there's a peeping tom kid! Kid's parents allow him to watch R-rated movies! Hahaha!

15 - Tin foil hat kid is talking to squirrels. Creepy kid. All the other kids are carrying out conversations in real time too, neat stuff.

16 - The character's faces exhibit a lot of emotion. Must be the giant eyes.
18 - I spend a few minutes jumping on trampolines, exploring, and listening in on conversations by my classmates.

19 - Can't check out the rest of the camp until I get my Basic Braining Merit Badge. Raz is able to grind on things, he must have those awesome rollerskate shoes that I always wanted.

20 - A couple of kids tell me horror stories about the main teacher, Coach Oleander. Seems he threw some blind kids off a cliff for being late to class!
22 - I find a stinky PSI card in the outhouse...

23 - I head up a winding stairway to start my first objective.

24 - A cutscene starts as I approach the classroom, a kid warns me about the Coach, but then we're interrupted by some bullies. The leader looks like Carrot Top, definitely a psycho by the way.
25 - I approach Coach Oleander to start Basic Braining. I'm given the option to start training or to run around more... no sense in delaying the inevitable.

27 - A cutscene video starts as Raz is pulled into the doorway (literally) of Coach's mind. Loading.

28 - Raz and me are in the mental world now, but it's just a small room with a projector again! The Coach starts telling us about the greatest job in the world.

29 - I have to punch the projection of coach to proceed, here goes! I bust open a hole in the wall and proceed into his mind.

30 - The other weak kid runs in too and then is blown up by the mental obstacle course. Owned. Coach's mind is a war zone.
31 - YES! I can double jump!!!

32 - I collect my first "figment of the imagination," I need one hundred points to rank up, each figment gives me about three points.

33 - Raz also takes a moment to sort out coach's "emotional baggage," literally! It's an actual trunk!

34 - I climb some ladders and poles, controls are really great.

35 - Ouch, my first injury as I get burnt by some fire.

36 - I encounter Carrot Top and he boots me off a ledge. A cute looking girl saves me my holding me up in the air with her mind.
37 - I have to make it past a flamethrower... I find a ladder around it, but I also saw a sign that said "Classified Path," I can't ignore that! It takes me into a tunnel with lots of moving platforms.

38 - The controls hold up as I traverse them with ease.

39 - I rank up to level 2, I receive a new rank at level 10. That seems like a long way off!

40 - NOOO!!! Shimmy! My worst enemy!
42 - I manage to fall right near the end of my shimmy. I hate shimmying.

43 - A series of trampolines brings me quite high up, then climb a wall that's getting bombed as I go up!

44 - Dogen is up here outside a mine field. He tells me he keeps getting blown up, I tell him I'll help him across. I make it through just fine but Dogen gets blown up... back to help him.

47 - I manage to get tin foil hat kid through the mine field without harm, and he gives me some psychic arrowheads as my reward. I think this is what it costs to use psychic powers? No solid explanation yet.
49 - I'm inside a sealed warplane now, and there's a kid babbling directions, not sure if they actually apply to me or not. Left, right, soft right, left, then a side road, then they asked for directions, and then a lady had to go to the bathroom. That's what he said... just more verbose. Then they walked 3, 4, 2, and half a mile. Then a U-Turn.

51 - After smacking the kid around he tells me to hit the door instead... duh. I jump out of the plane! Loading.

52 - Some kids are happy to see me, they tell me I have to beat a game because the coach won't open a gate. Okay...

54 - Well that was pretty easy, just had to punch some cardboard cutouts of bad guys. Probably to train me in more punching. My reward is the gate is opened, and the annoying kids get blown up! HA HA!
55 - I have to bust open the vault in Coach's mind, he says he has nothing to hide.

56 - After I bust it open I get a black and white picture book titled "Oleander's Pride." Seems to be about the coach during the war. Oleander was quite the war hero.

57 - I encounter a little alien that can teleport me to places I've been before, no need for him now. Ouch, I'm in a field with a laser guided gun on me! I lose a little health as he tacks me good.

58 - Seems like a good time to save the game.

59 - It's pretty easy to avoid the machine gun by strafing. In the middle of the field I open up a hat box.
60 - Phew, I get past the machine gun finally and encounter Carrot Top again. Little punk. I raise another flag as my first hour of Psychonauts comes to a close.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 9
I'm really digging Psychonauts' story after the first hour and having never played beyond this, I look forward to going on. I really didn't know what to expect even though I'm relatively familiar with Tim Schafer's work, but looking back it really reminds me of Grim Fandango. Basically you have this crazy concept that the entire plot is based around, and the writers don't try to justify the quirkiness of it, you're just thrust in and you accept it willingly and simply enjoy it. Why do all these kids have psychic powers? Who cares. They just do and they're at a training camp for it. It'd be like asking J.K. Rowling why there are wizards. Anyways, Raz and the other kids are surprisingly fleshed out in such a short time, it's kind of like Bully but with psychic powers.
Graphics and Sound: 10
I don't have any kind of super computer but Psychonauts runs and looks awesome on it. I had a smooth framerate the whole time and it basically felt like I was playing a console game but with dual monitors and Firefox open. The graphics are crisp and there's some great artists being employed at Double Fine Productions. Facial features are super expressive and that leads me to the sound, specifically the voice acting. Simply outstanding in the first hour. The sound effects are perfect and the music fits the game perfectly. My only complaint is the use of the pre-rendered cutscenes, they look a little off and am not really sure why they were necessary.
Gameplay: 9
For being a PC platformer, I was thoroughly impressed. The controls were solid and I have very few complaints. One thing I noticed is that during the mini-game where you have to hit the cardboard cutouts of bad guys, it was sometimes difficult to turn around quickly. Secondly, the game introduced many collection items pretty quickly: cards, eyeballs, arrowheads, chests, and figments off the top of my head. I'm not a huge fan of collection quests or collecting tons of random things that I don't have any idea what their purpose is. Enough complaints though, gameplay was great. Oh yeah, +1 for double jump, -1 for shimmy.
Fun Factor: 9
Like I said in my introduction, not a lot of developers try to do funny games, and even less succeed. Psychonauts succeeds. The dialogue is funny, the situations are funny, and the character design is funny. The game is also fun to play - I have a rather large complaint though: the game is called Psychonauts and I never once got to use a psychic power in the first hour. It seems that if Raz has such strong inherent powers he would be able to whip out some telekinesis or something. Platforming is fun when done right but beyond the humor, the game doesn't really display any more uniqueness. Too bad.
Minutes to Action: 12
Overall: 9
Psychonauts' first hour is a little slow to the action, but hey, at least the opening cutscene is funny, entertaining, features full voice acting, and you don't have to constantly tap a button to continue the story (compare this to Okami's half hour opening cutscene). The characters are engaging, the plot is original, and the art style is top notch. The game has very few flaws except for the ones I listed above, which are few. Psychonaut's first hour is great, I don't know what else to say. I recommend it to everyone, especially fans of the old adventure genre.

Art by junoluver - used with permission.

Game 15: Portal

Portal is just one game in Valve's newest release, The Orange Box. The Orange Box is a collection of a few different games but Portal is definitely the one that intrigued me the most. The concept of the game is that it is basically a first-person puzzle game that uses a special gun to navigate the areas. This special gun is the portal gun, which allows you to create a blue portal and an orange portal. You can place these portals on most surfaces and then walk/fall/hurtle yourself through it and you'll end up on the other side. Lots of cool things can be done with this and I'll try to explore its many possibilities in my first hour review.

Portal was actually based off a senior project called Narbacular Drop. From the sounds of it, Valve basically hired everyone on this project to help them create Portal! Not a bad turn of events. Oh, and you're probably thinking: "Portal is a brand new game! How is it possible you're reviewing it already!" It's true I don't normally review such brand-spanking new games, but I couldn't pass this one up! Enjoy this rare, new game review!

For my shorter review on the whole game, please see my Portal review at Beyond the First Hour.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - Start a New Game and we're off! The game starts right away. I'm in a little cell, just a toilet, bed, and radio. A weird little song is playing on the radio. There's a countdown above the door. A computerized voice starts talking - it's welcoming me to the Aperture Testing Center. And in three seconds, something is about to happen...

01 - An orange doorway has opened! I approach the portal and peer through, I can see myself and the room I'm in!
02 - I enter a room with a giant red switch on the floor. A crate drops from a crate dispenser, guess I know what to do.

03 - Placing the crate on the button keeps the door open for me, and I pass through it and into an elevator. There looks to be about 19 "levels" in this game, as each level opens up with a giant sign detailing what level I'm currently on and what dangers lie before me. The next area puts me in front of an orange portal, and every few seconds the view inside the portal changes.
04 - I enter the portal and pick up a crate, as I'm passing back through the portal, the portal disappears but the crate made it through! Now I have to wait for the portal to appear again.

05 - Done with that level now, just had to be patient. The computerized voice is almost constantly talking to me, it's pretty entertaining. Right now it's warning me about the unintended taste of blood, as portals may disintegrate teeth!

07 - I have gotten my own portal gun! Now I can shoot blue portals! Awesome!
08 - I shoot a portal on the piece of wall a camera is on, it falls to the ground and the computer yells at me! Hahahaha! Seeing myself through portals is pretty crazy and somewhat disorienting, I really have to think differently when playing this game.

09 - There's barely any loading in this game, but the elevators are no doubt serving as the loading behind the scenes.

10 - In the next area I shot a blue portal on the floor, so when I passed through, the game had to fix my viewing axis as the orange portal was on the wall. Weird stuff. The computer informs me it will not be monitoring me during the next test.

12 - Had to place two crates on two buttons, nothing too complicated but I did make a crate fall through like an infinite loop! Very cool! The barrel would fall out of the orange portal and into the blue portal, over and over again.
13 - The computer said it lied to me about not watching me, and will stop enhancing the truth from here on out.

14 - I'm in a much different looking room. The walls are invulnerable to my portal gun, but the ceiling and floor are not. There's also a high energy pellet flying back and forth. The computer informs me contact with this pellet may cause disabilities such as vaporization!

15 - I had to make the energy pellet come in contact with an energy pellet receiver. I did this by placing a blue portal on the ceiling so that when the pellet passed through the orange portal it would continue on going downwards. Man, some of this stuff is hard to explain!
17 - Very cool little room I just finished. I had to shoot a portal onto the ceiling over a moving platform and then fall through the floor onto the moving platform 10 meters away!

18 - The next room has a poisonous sewer/swamp on the ground! The puzzle was also relatively complex, I had to shoot a portal for a pellet to pass through and then when it was bouncing around after passing through the portal I had to shoot another portal somewhere else.
20 - The computer says the next test is impossible... yeah right!

21 - It wasn't that hard though, just had to shoot a portal across the room through a little hole. The game is happy I was able to solve it in an atmosphere of such extreme pessimism.

23 - I just got an awesome lesson on momentum! I learned all about portal's affects on momentum, or their lack of. Portals were placed high on the walls and then I jumped down about 30 feet into another portal, thus hurtling me through the high up portal at a very fast speed! It was a lot of fun, but seems mighty dangerous! "Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out."
24 - I get some useful advice in the next area from the computer, "the floor here will kill you, try to avoid it."

27 - Yes! I am now able to shoot out orange portals, so I can make complete portal links myself!

29 - Another momentum flying level, this time I have to climb a vertical shaft like room by shooting blue portals really high up and then jumping really far down into an orange portal! Tons of fun and the computer thinks so too! "Wheeeeeee!"
31 - Wow, things are getting so weird. Bei